How to Lead Your Life According to What Matters Most 

What gets your best energy right now?

Not what you want to give your energy to. Not what you would say matters most if I asked you. What is actually getting it?

As Christian women, it’s easy to look at everything and everyone entrusted to us and assume good stewardship means doing it all well, all at once.

But maybe you don’t need to get better at juggling everything.

Maybe the real question is whether everything you’re trying to juggle deserves the same amount of your time, attention, and energy in this season.

That’s why one of my favorite quotes by Patrick Lencioni is, “If everything is important, then nothing is.”

What this phrase really means is that if we hold everything in our lives with equal weight, we won’t commit fully to anything, and we won’t be able to juggle it all.

Naturally, things will drop. We will let those around us down. And we will feel deflated trying to keep up.

But as Christians, we are called to walk in authority.

"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”
Ephesians 2:10‍

We are created in His image to walk out our good works. We are called to love God and love others. We are called to make disciples and teach them. We are called to use our talents to serve the world and live and follow in Jesus’ example.

Nowhere does it say work constantly, say yes to everyone, or sacrifice certain areas of our life, except our flesh.

So how do we determine what deserves our attention?

We can often feel confused about what assignments God is calling us to take leadership over, which is why I love to start with our values.

This post is based on Episode 3 of Fun, Free & Flowing™: If you’d rather listen to this conversation, you can listen to the full episode here.

Your Values Help Determine Your Direction

Our values are the things most important to us, the areas that command our thoughts, actions, and energy.

We start with our values to determine our direction and energy and to hone the focus of our assignment, all with the understanding that we are called to preach the Gospel, further the Kingdom, and allow ourselves to be transformed.

Learning how to live according to your values means allowing what matters most to shape how you actually spend your time, energy, and attention.

We can have a mixture of both tangible and intrinsic values.

Tangible values are things we can easily understand, like family, faith, health, work, and travel.

Intrinsic values are more abstract and unique to each of us, like peace, security, joy, comfort, and inner harmony.

What peace means to me can be something different than what it means to you, and that’s okay!

So what does leading with your values really look like?

The Root Comes Before the Fruit

I want us to sit and think about this phrase I recently heard at church:

“The root comes before the fruit.”

We want the money, but we aren’t doing the connections to sell.

We want the “good kids,” but we aren’t doing the discipleship to guide them.

We want the clean home, but we aren’t establishing the systems to keep it tidy.

We want the salvation, but we aren’t committing our time to being in the Word.

We pour into our values in order for them to bear fruit in our lives.

The tiny habits around the things most important to us are the roots taking hold and flourishing.

If we are out of alignment, we aren’t bearing fruit. We’re just trying to survive and get to the next day.

As Christians, we want to see fruit for our effort in the form of positive growth and peace, so I have three steps for you to begin with.

Step 1: Test and Write Down Your Values

First, I want you to write down your top five values.

If you’re not sure what yours are, start with ALIGN, my free values assessment and mini program. It will help you identify your top five values and go deeper into what they mean for the way you lead your life.

Once you’ve completed ALIGN, write down your top five results in order.

In the parable of the talents in Matthew 25:14–30, the master commends the servant who invested his talents and made more:

“Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.”

We are responsible for how we use the time, money, and gifts God has entrusted us with. By embodying this, we are able to enter into the joy of our Master.

Today, we begin with our values, stewarding them well so that we can grow them.

Think of each of your values as a tiny plant that you need to water and give life to.

My top five values are:

Faith
Health
Family
Meaningful Work
Freedom

With each of our values, we first need to ask what it means to us, both personally and professionally.

So next to each value, write down:

What does this value mean to me personally and professionally?

From there, I grab my Power of 6 Journal & Planner and start determining how I will spend time on each.

The goal with our values is alignment.

Alignment with our values is the “good and faithful servant” model for us. It means we are spending intentional time on them each day or week.

Let me show you what that looks like with my own values.

Freedom: Does My Schedule Reflect It?

I’ll start with freedom because it’s my only intrinsic value.

For freedom, I lead myself daily with this simple question:

Does my schedule and the way I’m spending my time allow for freedom to worship and rest within Him?

If the answer is no, then I need to review why by looking over my schedule.

If the answer is yes, then I’m in alignment.

Faith: Am I Leading Myself Consistently?

For my faith, I’ve committed to leading myself in prayer and reading Scripture daily.

I don’t think about if I want to, have the energy for it, or what else I’d rather do.

My commitment to my faith is the cornerstone of my relationship with Him and how I will best further the Kingdom, so it requires the most diligence with my time and energy. That is why it is my first and foremost value.

I know that if I am close with Him, I will be a better steward over my health, my work, and my family.

They are all connected and work together.

Health: Quality Over Quantity

For my health, I know that means nourishing my body and being active.

In this season of life, it’s simple meals and fitness three times a week.

We aren’t always in the position for quantity of time, but we can lean into quality of time.

For me, health isn’t something that just works out. It’s something I am mindful of.

I also know that if I take care of my health, I am better able to serve my clients and family effectively.

When I am sick, I pause more, rest more, and look at it as a time to reset my priorities.

Family: Stewarding the Legacy in Front of Us

Family is a value people take for granted a lot, but it is one of the most impactful for us because this is the legacy we are called to steward most diligently in our assignment of motherhood.

We homeschool each day, but another way I can serve my family is by providing meals, a clean home, and engaging conversations about the LORD.

This area can feel like we get a lot in the form of quantity, but are you connecting with each person in a quality that serves the LORD well?

Are you teaching them and raising them up in the ways of God?

This is not something to leave to a daycare, Sunday church, or school.

We are called to lead them, and how we interact with them is what is really caught.

Meaningful Work: What Does God Need Me to Do Today?

Meaningful work is the area of my life that has seen the biggest transformation since seeing my assignment as more than “keeping clients.”

I turned my business over to the LORD last year and officially designated Him as the CEO.

That means I look at my daily tasks and how I lead through the lens of:

“What does God need me to do as a servant today?”

Some days that’s messaging my clients back.

Some days that’s posting about something that’s coming up for me.

Some days that’s reaching out to prospects and seeing how they are doing.

And some days it’s getting on a call and meeting my clients where they are currently at.

“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the LORD and not for men, knowing that from the LORD you will receive the inheritance as your reward.”
Colossians 3:23–24

These areas, in the form of my values, are a chance for me to work for His glory and do it with all my heart.

Matthew 5:16 tells us:

“Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”

By my faith and good works, more glory will be granted to the Father, and this is one of the ways I can make more disciples.

My life can be a living testament to Christ’s sacrifice.

It’s so much more than washing the dishes.

It’s so much more than responding to a client.

It’s so much more than reading a book to our toddler.

It’s so much more than paying a bill.

All of it is a way we can glorify God.

This is a stance of leadership in how you walk out your days, even amidst the chaos.

Step 2: Assess Your Life Against Your Values

After you list out your values, I want you to answer this question:

Am I honoring God through this value and living in alignment?

Look at your days and determine if you are living your values or not.

If this isn’t immediately understood, track the next three or four days and then see if you can match a value to the activities you’ve been doing.

My goal for you is to be intentional through your days and not float through them.

I don’t want you to passively survive your days but attack them with authority, gratitude, and zeal.

Step 3: Align Your Values

You’ve tested your values and determined what they mean to you.

You’ve assessed your time against your values.

Now I want you to start aligning your values.

Ask yourself:

What areas do I feel I am falling short in?

What changes can I make in order to feel aligned?

What’s a tiny habit I can start in order to immediately see success?

I get this question a lot:

Will my values ever change?

Yes.

We evolve and transform, and naturally, our assignments and areas of emphasis change too.

Take the ALIGN test once a year to make sure you are aligning your current life to God’s assignment for you.

For now, start with ALIGN. Identify your top five values, go deeper into what they mean for you, determine where your energy needs to align, and start walking it out during your days with small shifts and tiny habits.

And if you want to take this conversation on the go, catch Episode 3 of Fun, Free & Flowing™: She Leads Her Values and subscribe so you don’t miss the rest of the season. 

Lead Your Life Around What Matters Most

If you’re realizing your life feels scattered because everything has been competing for first place, this is exactly the work we do inside the THRIVE Christian Cohort.

THRIVE helps Christian mompreneurs become the leaders God is calling them to be.

Together, we identify what God is actually asking you to steward in this season and build your business, your routines, and your leadership around what matters most.

We spend an entire month helping you uncover your values and align your actions with them, so you’re no longer living in constant reaction but leading with intention.

If that sounds like the kind of foundation you’ve been looking for, I’d love to invite you to apply for the next round of THRIVE.